I showed up to the airport and worked my plan…
I flew on the plane. It was just like any other time I have flown. I showed up with deep breathes, trying to not become overly anxious, and I took steps forward. I planned to be at the airport around a certain time, and I did it. I planned and mentally walked though what it would be like to go through customs, and it all went as planned. All my food was packed and checked, it survived. I got a small human friend to sit with me. I could not have planned, executed my plan, and could not have been more successful in that plan… just as I planned. (Did I use the word plan enough? It seems to be an important word)
Here’s the deal…
Just because I made a decision to move forward through my fears, doesn’t mean that everything became smooth sailing. In fact, each step froward, though the plan, was tough. The world does not change because I make one choice to be different.
The moment I showed up to the airport I took my time to work my plan, but every step was a new decision… a tough step… a choice to allow my fear/anxiety to over power me or to take a few deep breaths and take another step.
For instance: I struggle with food. It’s clear to all the people who have worked out with me for the last two and a half years of CrossFit. They’ve seen me loose and gain, loose and gain, loose and gain. Everyday I have to choose to follow my plan. Everyday I have to choose to be prepared and to do the work it takes to be prepared. Every night I have to think through my plan for the next day. It’s not easy… It’s tough… it sucks, and it’s my daily life. It’s an addiction that I am trying to kick… trying to make it through and push beyond. In the last two months, it hasn’t gotten easy. It’s gotten easier, but not easy.
Flying has gotten easier for me, but it’s not easy. Despite my experience and my planning, I still hit walls of fear and anxiety.
As I walked off the plane this week, I was relived and celebrated that I continued to move forward despite my fear and anxiety. Choosing to take the second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth steps is tough. This flight was a win and I earned the victory because I refused to stop at the next step.
Plan… keep stepping forward… and by all means, Keep Going!