A little while back, I had a check in with my food guy, Jamie. It was our regular check in where I get weighted and measured. After having several successful weeks in dropping some LBS, I was expecting to have another good two weeks… this time, it was different. This time, I only dropped 2lbs and some change. I was shocked and a little pissed. I had followed my plan and stayed active. I paided my dues and I deserved more than 2lbs and some change!

A couple of days later, it was January 1st… for me, that means CrossFit Total time! (Three movements where the pounds are added together to give you your total score/weight) For the past two and a half years of doing CrossFit, I had seen improvement and was excited about this year’s total. At church that morning, I looked up my one-rep Personal Records (PR) and had a game plan with numbers to hit for my total. [Side note: My Total goal is to one day hit 1000lbs. and I feel like it’s possible one day in the near future] I DIDN’T HIT ONE SINGLE 1 REP MAX!!!!  Once again… I’m pissed!

So what? Right? Who cares? Did you do your best? That day, did you give it everything you had?

Those are the things I try to ask myself to calm down and relax. I try to frame what I’m feeling in the larger scale of life. I did what I could for that day and I couldn’t do more. I have to take it for whatever it was and not allow it to shape or define me or my day.

Sometimes my rational brain doesn’t help! Now I have two events, right next to each other, where I have failed. What do I do now?

I look for wins…

Even in the midst of devastation, we have personal victories. We have moments or events within events that are wins… do you or I notice them? Sometimes yes, and maybe sometimes no… but we need to if we want to move forward.

In my past I would have just eaten my anger and just become more enraged because I, not only, had failed but now Ive eaten so much that I hate myself. Then I cycle down into depression and self-loathing. That’s my cycle. Maybe you have your own cycle. Being aware of your life cycles are important in moving forward.

So… did I have wins in the midst of “failure”, Yes! In my check-in with Jamie, I had lost .5% off my Percentage of Body Fat (PBF). The two weeks prior to that check in I had lost over twice as much weight and the same loss in my PBF. This is actually really great news that I’m getting healthier, despite my attachment to the number of LBS. That’s a win… that’s the needle still going in the right direction. I have to celebrate this win!

The CrossFit Total win… My numbers went up. Sure, I didn’t hit my PR numbers, but my total score went up. That means my Total total was a Personal Record (PR). That, ladies and Gentlemen, is still a win! It may have not been the win I wanted exactly, but it’s still a win and must be celebrated.

My lesson I’m learning… Find the Wins and Celebrate them. Giving up is NOT and option. Define yourself by your journey moving forward and don’t allow, seemingly, bad things define your journey. KEEP GOING!

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