Welp… I had my check in on Tuesday… the last day in February. It was not exciting and I felt really bummed about it. Here are ALL the feels…
I want to quit, I want to just throw my hands in the air and say “That’s it!?!?!?!?!?”…. really? I want to go on a pizza run, then grab some ice cream from the new custard place in town that I have not been allowed to go to, BECAUSE IT’S NOT ON MY FREAKING PLAN!!!! I want to throw something, I want to give up… I want to just forget the whole thing. I have worked too hard for this to be the only results! THIS. IS. TOTALLY. NOT. WORTH. IT.
Sure, all of those things are what’s going through my head… but what will I do about it?
This week started with me working out in a fog. I don’t’ know what it was, but I just wasn’t all there. I didn’t go into the box with a plan for things I wanted to hit while I was there and I, kind of, wondered around for the first little bit. I was out of it. Then I wrote and studied most of the day and received news that made me feel like I ran face first into a wall. I decided I wanted to go throw around some weights in a Barbell Class and that was a great choice… blow off some steam by lifting weights. Then, for some reason, tensions were a little thick when I got home… but hey, it’s Monday. Monday’s are just terrible sometimes, right? I had a hard time going to bed that night but knew I would have a completely different day to work with when I woke up. Keep going, because sometimes Monday’s happen.
Shake it off kid!
That led me to today. I’ve felt weird and off all day. Everything I attempted to do and every plan I had failed to be completed and has now placed me behind in all that I needed to get done.
To recap… I feel like I have run face first into a wall I didn’t see coming, my brain has been foggy, and nothing is working in order to complete my tasks for today. Oh, and my hips are sore from all the snatches from Barbell last night. Literally, I’m falling apart. (More emotionally than physically… side note, I also need to be WAY less introspective, but anyways…)
So here I am needing some good news… something to go right. Okay… weightloss. That’s something I have been doing well. I stay tight on my plan and I have not broken it since the eating season (Which I did with permission). This should turn my emotions around… this is the win I’m looking for… let’s get on the scale….
Show me… something… good…
InBody says… -1.8 LBS and -.7% on my PBF
Heartbreak… (Insert above-mentioned feelings here)
I realize that most will read this and call me out… Jacob, you’re being a baby! Everything is still going down. Maybe it’s the week, maybe it’s the way I feeling a little beat up this week, or maybe it’s just the weather. Either way, it just added to my gloomy feelings instead of helping me to rise above them.
I’m a little discouraged this week. It’s just where I am right now.
I will stick to my plan. I will still make my goals for tomorrow. I will keep focused on my goals for age 40… I will… Keep Going!
I’ll try to celebrate my small win tomorrow. I mean, I did still lose weight… right?