There comes a point in each of our lives where we have to move. We can’t stay where we are and we have to do something. This point can be extremely painful and stress filled. Sometimes the decision itself is much harder than the action which is required by the decision.
What is it about the unknown and elusive variables that freak us out?
Decisions must be made!
In the last blog of this series, I was talking about all the fear and anxiety that leads me toward this point. I tried to lay out all the things that run through my mind, as well as show a side to travel that many might not be aware of in their experience.
When it comes down to travel, I’ve had to fly often. I mean, who wants to drive to California? Right? Or in next week’s case: Orlando, Florida? Well, I do… but I don’t.
Here’s the deal… At some point we all come to these various times in our journey where we have to accept our reality and decide to move forward despite it. After all, I can’t expect the world to be different for me or allow the world to be everything I need it to be. Either scenario is pure selfish fear, and our desperate need to try and control something which we feel is out of control.
Here’s I do to move forward, or get on the plane:
- Define your reality
- Accept your reality
- Decide to move forward
- Plan how you will move forward
- Execute the plan without questioning yourself in the heat of the moment
I have to define my reality…
I’m a 6’5″, large human, with size 15 feet. None of this can change in the next week. The plane seats are small… I can’t change the seats in the plane. I fear throwing up… That’s my nerves and I can’t change those right now. I will be touching another human while I fly… can’t change that either right now. This is my reality.
Accept your reality…
These things are not who I am, but they are currently what I am. They don’t define me, nor do they make me less-than other people. I will be uncomfortable during this flight. Period.
Decide to move forward…
Do I want to quit? No! Do I want to skip this trip and miss out on school and fun? No! Am I going to walk or drive there instead? NO! Do I want to stay in my current reality? No!
Then I must move forward…
In this moment, I am close to doing something different. I mentally get that something needs to change… but what? In these moments we can do one of two things. First, we can sink into a deep dark place and eat our feelings (that are currently amplified), isolate ourselves, and sink into a worthless-feeling state of depression. OR Second, We can decide to experience life and move forward. One is easy and one is difficult.
We know we have to move, but will it be forward or backward?
Choose forward! Face the fear head on and see what happens. I’ve been learning this lately in CrossFit. There are so many times I want to quit because I have a small voice inside telling me that I am going to die or that I can’t do something. In those moments, I can quit or push forward. I’ve been pushing forward, and you know what I’ve found out? I’m not going to die and my experience becomes one of victory over my past experiences of doubt.
Next week, I fly. There’s no stopping the time… it’s ticking closer and closer.
Quit or face it?
Fight or flight?
Plan how you will move forward…
Today I made my meal plan for the trip. I ordered my food and am ready to remain on my eating plan. I looked at the flight and when I need to be where, instead of ignoring it. I will be with my crew and I will sit my fearful butt down and face that dang flight! I know what I’m doing and where I’m going. I will try and sit next to a skinny friend and have them hold me. (Okay, maybe not the holding part… but I’m open to it!) 😉
Just like in times past, I will fly and I will be fine. Sure, it’s not going to be the best part of the trip, but I will get through it and I won’t die. (Unless the plane crashes, then… I might die) Anyways…
Execute the plan…
Here’s the last hang up that could happen. I allow myself to freak out and change the plan. DON”T DO IT! Sure, learn from whatever happens… but stick to the plan.
Here’s the deal: when I make a plan, I’m usually in a much clearer place mentally. Most likely I’m not as stressed with extreme fear and anxiety… I might not be completely absent of fear and anxiety but it will be far less than in the heat of the moment.
Trust yourself and follow the plan.
I have consulted people whom I allow to help me and whom I trust, I’ve made my plan… let’s fly!
Don’t forget to Keep Going! Move forward.