Resolutions are not the real problem.
Truth be told, making resolutions improves your chances of actually making changes in your life. I say go for it! Even if you fail, you learn. If nothing else, you learn that you can start and we ALL know that starting is the hardest part. But this post isn’t about New Year’s Resolutions. It’s about the actual changes we want to make in life… These changes usually aren’t the real problem either….
The changes we often attack are the manifestation of a deeper problem. I don’t have a problem with food. I have a problem in how I handle stress, how I cope with life, and how I have conditioned my body to default to food. Food because my crutch and go to escape after years of NOT dealing with my real issues.
For example…. When I first started this journey, my issue was inactivity. I needed to MOVE.
I started moving. I began moving more and more. I have gotten pretty good at exercising now, but I still felt the same and still struggled with food.
I started working with Jamie Free and following a great food plan. (I still try to follow a great food plan from him) But even today, I still feel the same inside sometimes.
The two big things I did to address my physical condition produced a better physical me. However my brokenness was still the same inside.
I still look in the mirror and see an over weight, hairy, immature, and not-good-enough joke of man looking back at me. I don’t see the 100+ LBS loss. I don’t see someone who just PR’d their snatch. I see a broken guy who has worked his ass off and is still so broken.
When I see this person, I feel fat, heavy, and slow. I even believe this and ruin my day by beating myself up.
After ALL the work I still battle depression, I still want to sabotage my journey because of how I see myself, and I still want to give up. It’s not everyday, but it happens.
Because my physical weight is NOT the problem… it’s a byproduct of the problem.
Along this journey, I have experienced freedom in my life. It’s beautiful and is something I never knew existed. I didn’t even know that I didn’t have it. I have seen myself change and be empowered. I’ve seen that the impossible is, in fact, possible. I’ve seen me be happy and love who I am.
I never knew of these things before this journey. Before, I was never okay with who I am and I never knew how imprisoned I had made myself by my own self-deprivation.
I’ve learned this amazing lesson over the last two years of self work. I’ve had more freedom and joy than ever before. I’m more self-aware, confident, and secure. It’s been great.
As I’m processing today, I’m having thoughts or running and working out more during the week. I’m feeling the need to DO more… but why?
Because I feel fat. I’ve put on some “holiday” weight. I’m really close to turning 40 and I feel like I’m ruining the last two and a half years of work. I feel like I want to quit. I feel like I want to sabotage the whole thing.
I’m allowing my temporary feelings to dictate how I live life TODAY…
I know this leads to disaster.
I know that if I allow my feelings to guide my life, they will run me into the ground.
Do I need to loose weight and exercise more?
No, because that’s NOT the real problem.
So, what’s the problem?
I’m feeling scared and stressed about my job. The organization that I love is going through some changes, tough changes, and I’m struggling to process them all. I’m really nervous and scared about the future of the organization and my place within it. I simply don’t know what’s going to happen and I’m NOT handling it well. I have realized how bad I’m handling it by noticing my physical indicators of a larger problem.
If I can address how I’m feeling and the root cause, then I can be in a healthy spot again. When I’m in a healthy spot, the byproduct of that will be weight loss. Byproducts are byproducts. They will indicate the health of the person to which they are apart.
We ALL experience this and many of us will respond to ONLY the physical manifestations and never even look for the real problem(s).
Are you coming into the new year focused on the physical manifestations or the real problem(s)?
Be open to the journey and KEEP GOING! The real problem will keep rising to the surface as you put in the work, just be sure not to keep shoving it back down.
I want to encourage you to find the REAL problem(s) and do work there… Keep working even if it gets hard. You can do it!